Why aren't you a Trump supporter?
12.06.2025 10:21
I know who the president of Turkey really is
I have an acute aversion to scumbags
When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability
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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”
I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”
If someone works for me, I actually pay them
What topics are okay with you in comics and what topics should be totally off the table?
I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”
I understand how hurricane paths work
Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?
Why does TikTok allow porn stars in its platform? Isn't it aimed at teenagers?
I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP
I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity
A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y
Why does Filipino culture dictate that parents should be treated as gods?
I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write
I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”
I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.
I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes
I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones
I see through liars
I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”
I took the same Oath and took it seriously
I don’t watch or listen to advertising
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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms
I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t
I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink
I actually pay taxes
I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center
I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t
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I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes
When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP
I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened
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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light
I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet
authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday
Astronomers Just Discovered One of the Fastest Jets Ever in a Radio-Quiet Galaxy - The Daily Galaxy
I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”
Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:
I have complete contempt for traitorism
I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”
I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee
It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter
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I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”
I don’t buy bullshit
I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality
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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”
I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”
I don’t cotton to rapists
I have a reading level above third grade
I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions
I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup
I can read
I have complete contempt for fakery
I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight
I can count
Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.
I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane
I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard
I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t
EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that
I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is